HE WILL STOP THIS BIRTHDAY PARTY. TRUST THE PLAN β
A small, grumpy, chronically unsuccessful communist villain has one mission: ruin America's 250th birthday party on July 4th. He has a plan. It's a terrible plan. He's failing at every step. $KOMMIE is his story, live on Solana.
YOUR_CONTRACT_ADDRESS_HERE
A meticulous five-year plan, executed in one afternoon, going exactly as well as you'd expect.
Brought one (1) bucket of water. The fireworks are fine. The bucket is gone. He is very upset about the bucket.
The jets fly at 700 mph. The net was rated for butterflies. He is still holding the net. He will not talk about it.
The stage actually fell apart at rehearsal. Nobody can prove it was him. He printed a certificate for himself. He is SO proud.
Everyone is having fun. Someone handed him a hot dog. He ate it. It was delicious. He hates that it was delicious.
Three generations of party-ruining failure. A dynasty of disappointment.
Tried to ruin America's 100th birthday. Got lost on the way to Philadelphia. Ended up at a barn dance. Reportedly had a nice time. The shame never left the family.
Had a whole plan for the Bicentennial. Set seventeen alarms. Slept through all of them. Woke up July 6th. The party was already over. Twice the shame.
250 years of America. 150 years of family failure. Today is HIS moment. His destiny. His time to shine. Spoiler: he fails. Gloriously. Repeatedly. On-chain.
"AMERICA WILL NEVER BE A COMMUNIST COUNTRY."
β The Rushmore speech that called communism "the enemy of July 4, 1776" and accidentally gave one tiny villain his villain origin story. He took it personally. He took the L too.
Four steps. He tried to sabotage this section too. It still works.
Download the Phantom wallet on mobile or as a browser extension.
Grab some SOL on an exchange and send it to your Phantom wallet.
Paste the $KOMMIE contract address and swap your SOL for $KOMMIE.
He fails at everything. Don't fail at this. Hold the line, comrade.